The Cloth-of-gold Lining

There comes a point in every persons life where things just fall apart. Maybe you get your car repossessed. Maybe you lose that amazing job that came with a skyline view from your office and season tickets (what ever that means…). Maybe you go to the salon to have your hair dyed and it all falls out. Regardless of what it actually is that makes you stomp your feet and throw a tantrum, to you, it’s the biggest deal in the world. And no amount of people telling you that “this too shall pass” is going to make you feel immediately better. So you go out in search of your silver lining. Or, in the case of fabric, your cloth-of-gold lining (I know, I know, it’s a really corny joke. Forgive me).

For me, this “the sky is falling the SKY is FALLING!!!!” moment came today when I opened my mailbox. Today I found out that I have been rejected from every single fashion school I applied to.  I’m a student with no school, a designer with no training, and, even if it’s not REALLY true, I am at this moment convinced that it’s just possible that I might not be as awesome as I thought. FIT (a state school) said no. the Art Institute said No. And now Parsons has said No.

Faced with this depressing reality, I searched for my brighter lining. Well, heck, now I’m going to have a WHOLE lot more time to work on the VPLL Sewing Project, I told myself. So I printed out all of the patterns they’ve sent me, and am currently on break from assembling them. I don’t care if they are covering my living room floor… I’m getting SOMETHING done.

And if those schools don’t want me right now, really, that’s fine. I’ve got all the pattern drafting and draping text books sitting up in my bedroom (I bought them early so I’d be prepared for class in the fall…=S). So, since I’ve got the books and I will now have the time, I might as well get started on the exercises in the text books. Then I’ll be SUPER ready for when I’m finally in school.

And somehow, knowing that I could accomplish things, even something as simple as taping pieces of paper together to make a slip pattern, has made my rejection letters sting a little less. it’s made the sky a little brighter. And it’s made me smile ever so slightly,on what I am currently calling the crappiest day of my life. I’ll be fine.

The moral of the story is this: Although shit does happen, these events leave you with three options- One, you can hide under a rock and say “maybe if I close my eyes it’ll go away”- two, you can get dragged down by the feelings of failure, depression, resent etc. – or, three, you can take a deep breath, cry if you have to and then do something. do ANYTHING. Make a hard boiled egg. Vacuum your couch. Vacuum your dog. Paint your nails. Do anything at all that you want to do. And when your done, you say to yourself; “hey, I can do that. I wonder what else I can do.” And before you know it, you’ll be up and running, trying just a little bit harder.